Prologue to Time Bolt
Ezekial, Aby-Dubious, Daniel, and Blackie
Four cats with minds of their own. I miss those guys.
TIME BOLT: The Crossover Nightmares
Author: Curtis Wildcat, also known as "G.A.", or 'Grand Admiral', Wildcat
The Summary? Read on, and see for yourself. Some of these will wind up funny, and others will wind up stupid. Comments welcome, as long as they're not insulting.
* The Sacremento Bugle is a newspaper I made up for the purpose of this story. For those of you in California, if there IS such a newspaper by that name, let me know.
Date: March 4, 2000
Time: 8:45 a.m.
Somewhere in California......
(A middle-aged cat sits in an office-style chair at a desk, surrounded by various newspaper clippings and magazine articles. As we get a close-up of the cat, we see that he has purple fur, jagged ears and a tail with short, spiked fur; small purple spikes running up and down his back and head [he is easily....mutated, in a sense], and is wearing a black long-sleeved shirt and black jeans. He is reading a magazine article entitled "Aldonza: Powerful Super-Cat, or Just a Good Cook?" The picture next to the title is of Aldonza, wearing what seems to be a chef's apron over a red shirt and blue jean shorts, and boiling a vegetable with the lasers from her eyes. The purple cat skims over the article, then slams it down in front of him)
Cat: I really hate doing reports on these extraordinary know-nothings.
(A telephone rings nearby. Wearily, the cat gets up and answers it.)
Cat: Hello? Visello residence.
(We get a split-screen effect of the cat talking to a human businessman)
Man: Transcisc Visello, this is Clement Howards, over at the Sacremento Bugle. We need you to issue that column on Zapana Zquor by 9:00 tonight so we can print it tomorrow.
Cat: (mutters) Transcisc, Transcisc, Transcisc. Clement, you KNOW I hate it when you call me that.
Clement: (whispers) I don't have much choice. The other people don't like it when I call it by your real name.
Cat: Just to keep the record straight, I'm going to print my name as THUNDERBALL Visello. Not Transcisc, Transit, Tansit, or any of that other stuff.
Clement: Okay, but I'm not going to be blamed for what happens when the people of Sacremento hear who you really are.
Thunderball: (forcefully) Howards, I could care less what the people of----
Clement: (hastily) Alright, take it easy! Just get that column in by 9:00pm sharp, alright?
Thunderball: (growls) Oh, very well. Now, hang up and don't call me again for the rest of the day, or I'll talk to my boss about giving you a cut in salary.
(Clement immediately hangs up)
Thunderball: (hangs up, as well) Miserable lowlife, it's easier said than done.
(Thunderball paces back to his desk, and gazes at the pile of clippings and articles)
Thunderball: I wish something could be done about all these clippings. I don't even want to look at a PICTURE of another Super-Cat again. After all I did to escape them, I certainly don't want them back in my home.
(Pulling all the clippings off his desk, a stray clipping slips out of the pile. Picking it up, Thunderball looks at the clipping's headline: COMET STRIKERS. Below it is a picture of the Samurai Pizza Cats in their standard victory pose)
Thunderball: (snarls) For that matter, any of the PIZZA CATS, either; they're just as pesky and noisy as the Super-Cats are. If I was someone like the Joker or the Scarecrow, I'd have already done away with them.
(Thunderball gets up, throws a paperweight on top of the clippings and articles, and storms away towards his room. He goes into his room, slamming the door behind him, and throws himself on his bed, which has "Batman" sheets on it. The surrounding walls, painted a dark blue, have various Batman posters from all the movies and most of the games, including a "Batman Beyond" poster behind Thunderball's bed. On one wall is an entertainment system with NES, N64, SNES, and several other video game consoles, a big-screen television and various smaller televisions, a VCR, and cable hookup. All the video games seen are related to Batman, and a massive stockpile of videos next to the television are Batman-related, as well.)
Thunderball: <Who cares about that newspaper column? I want to be able to see to it that I don't see any of those young fools again.>
(Suddenly, a thought hits him)
Thunderball: (hisses) Blast it, I left the fan going in the living room! Now I'm going to have to clean up a major mess!
(He rushes back into the living room. Those papers on the desk covered by the paperweight are okay, but about a dozen other articles are scattered around. Hissing to himself, Thunderball gathers up the mess and returns it to the table; but before he can throw another paperweight on it, a paper slips loose)
Thunderball: (growls) This has not been my day. (reaches over his shoulder and flips a switch, turning off the overhead fan)
(Thunderball picks up the paper and is about to put it away, when the picture on the paper catches his attention. The picture Thunderball's looking at is a picture of Time Master [from the SPC episode "Samurai Savings Time"]. Time Master looks a little bit roughed up; a few damage points can be seen that look like they were made by sharp claws. The caption beneath it reads: "Missing: One robot. Name: Time Master. Last seen: October 5, 1998. Purpose: Clock Radio Transformation. Reward: $200,000. If seen, please contact Seymour 'Big' Cheese or Jerry Atrick of the Flying Skull.")
Thunderball: <That notice was out so long ago, I think the guy's forgotten about it by now.> (folds the notice under one arm) <I think, that with a little tinkering, I can use it to my advantage. Fortunately for me, I took a mechanics and science class in college.>
(Thunderball sits back down, a bit more energized than before.)
Thunderball: But first, that cursed column has to be done......
(Cut to approximately 10 hours later. Thunderball is holding the notice in one hand. He's standing on an abandoned street on the very edge of Little Tokyo. Most of the buildings from Chaos Kitten's rampage have been rebuilt, thanks to the Super-Cats. However, for now, no one lives here.)
Thunderball: (turns his head to stare straight at a seemingly empty building) Found you.
(He points a claw at the building; and without warning, it collapses on itself. Rushing forward, Thunderball clears away the wreckage....to find a battered, but intact, version of the Time Master. The robot is shut down)
Thunderball: Thought you could hide, huh? Well....(points another claw at him)...WRONG ANSWER!!
(He quickly points his claw down, and it somehow materializes a tornado, directly in front of him. Smiling, he points the tornado towards the direction of the robot, and the tornado engulfs it. For a number of minutes, brilliant lightning bolts shoot from the tornado. Thunderball stands there, completely calm. Finally, he brings his paws together, and the tornado disappears.)
(This is a NEW Time Master we're talking about, now. This one looks more like a black and purple gargantuan, with a set of clocks on his chest and a screen intended to list any time-traveling passengers. Thunderball walks up to it.)
Thunderball: (purrs) <That's one thing they didn't teach me in college.> Who are you?
Time Master: (monotone; sounds like a gorilla) I am Time Master, Version T0.60. I am ready to fulfill your wishes, Thunderball.
Thunderball: (smiles) There are a number of people on this plane of existence that I want you to scatter throughout the dimensional planes.
Time Master: Please state passengers.
Thunderball: (slowly) Speedy Cerviche. Guido Anchovy. Polly Esther. Francine Manx. Good Bird. (pauses)
Time Master: Is that it, Thunderball?
Thunderball: No, I'm trying to remember her name. Was it Sabrina? (snaps his fingers) No, no, no....it was Shila. Oh, yes, and one Grand Admiral Curtis Wildcat. Initiate Time Switch.
(Time Master's servomotors kick into gear, and a yellow whirlpool forms above it)
Time Master: Time Switch procedures commencing.....
(Cut to the Pizza Cat parlor's underground testing area, which is about the size of a school gymnasium. The Pizza Cats, in full battle gear, are keeping their skills intact by fighting each other. Speedy and Polly are going against each other, and Guido and Good Bird have teamed up against Francine)
(Speedy and Polly's swords have clashed against each other. Each one straining to put the other away, they reach a virtual deadlock. With a sudden burst of agility, Speedy reaches out with his foot and trips Polly, landing her on the floor)
Speedy: Game, set, match.
Polly: Guess again, hotshot! (does a spin move on the floor and knocks Speedy of his feet with her own)
Speedy: (as Polly gets up and dusts herself off) Alright, who taught you that move?
Polly: (laughs) After Aldonza helped us recover from the big fight against Chaos Kitten, she taught me a few moves she learned as a black belt master.
Speedy: (snickers, and gets up) Black belt master? More like Pokemon Master to me.
Polly: What do you mean?
Speedy: She spends more time watching Sailor Moon and Pokemon than she does doing outside work. Last time I was at the Mansion, I looked into her closet and saw it jam-packed with tapes, each one with a dozen episodes of each show. I looked on her closet door and saw a giant poster from the first Pokemon movie.
Polly: (gasps) You watched each tape?
Speedy: No. While she was napping, I fast-forwarded through each tape and took note of what was on each one. It took a while, but I got through them all before she woke up.
Polly: Really? (laughs) I guess inbetween shows, she was able to teach me that spin kick, huh?
(The two turn around to see how their teammates are faring. Guido opens up his Sunspot Umbrella and fires a solar beam at Francine, but she is able to block it with an Ion Cannon attack. After the dust clears, Francine hurls some of the bite-sized shuriken at Good Bird, and they lodge in the small gaps in his armor, temporarily disabling him.)
(While Fran is distracted, Guido nails her in the side with the Umbrella, knocking her to the floor. Just like that, the practice skirmish is over)
Guido: (helps up Fran) You okay?
Fran: (dusts herself off) Yeah. I hardly even felt it. (shouts) Hey, Ambush Cat! How'd the performance go?
(Ambush Cat drops to the ground from his hiding place in the ceiling)
Ambush Cat: Speedy got an 8. Polly got a 10.
Polly: (chortles, while Speedy looks on, exasparated) We know who's the greatest!
Ambush Cat: (snarls) But only because I want to keep my face. Anyway, Francine also got a 10.....
Francine: (giggles) Thanks a lot!
Ambush Cat: Guido got a 9, and GB got an 8.
(The male members of the team turn to look at Ambush Cat)
Speedy: Hey, you scored us less than Polly and Francine!
Ambush Cat: Call it a violence factor. Polly can easily wipe the floor with all of you put together. Francine has at least equal talents, if not better. If I got either of those two mad, I'd have to schedule myself a dentist appointment.
Guido: Violence? (losing his temper) VIOLENCE?! I OUGHTA SHOW YOU VIOLENCE, THE HARD WAY!!!
Ambush Cat: (backs up a few feet, hisses) Listen to me, Guido. Listen to me CLOSELY, because I'm going to say this just ONCE. If I hadn't unloaded that Total Static Discharge into the systems of Chaos Kitten's Vile Goliath, none of you dolts would be here right now. The city would be in a shambles, the Animal Legion of Doom would rule what was left, and the Cheese Crime Mafia would overwhelm the rest of the planet. As an added bonus, I took out the Goliath's Stealth Tank escort myself by fighting stealth with stealth. Instead of being mean, try being THANKFUL. You didn't even try to be thankful to Teasy when he almost wasted himself rescuing you from Caner's missile. It's a lesson that you're going to have to learn, Anchovy. Think about it.
(Turning up his nose at the Pizza Cat, Ambush Cat stalks away up the stairs)
Polly: Guido, I think Ambush Cat may have a----
Guido: (turns his head) Shut up.
(Polly, upset, doesn't even have a chance to unleash a blow. Abruptly, a bright yellow vortex generates itself in the middle of the room, sweeping the Pizza Cats into it. All that's left is GB's yell)
GB: HEY, WAIT A SECOND.....!
(Just like that, the room is empty)
(Cut to the inside of the Mansion's Card Room. Curtis Wildcat, Shila, Aldonza, and another male calico (!!) are standing in front of a pool table. It's Aldonza's turn to move)
Aldonza: (aiming the stick at the cue ball) Watch this and weep, animals. A total side pocket sweep!
(Aldonza hits the cue ball with lower left-hand English, and it hits the 3. The 3 hits the 8, which goes into the left side pocket. Meanwhile, the 3 continues on, ricochets off one end of the table, and hits the 9, which goes into the other side. However, this maneuver has also sunk the cue ball)
Aldonza: (growls) Your turn, Chris.
(Chris, the second male calico, takes the cue ball and the 9 ball out of the pocket and puts them in their respective places.)
Curtis: Aldonza, take it easy! I haven't seen you this tense before!
Chris: (a bit younger than Curtis) Try counting to ten and taking a couple deep breaths. It's something Curtis's human clone taught me before my own mutation. (hits the cue ball straight on, and sinks the 9 ball for a win)
Aldonza: (snarls) Shut up.
(Right after Aldonza says this, another yellow void materializes inside the game area. This time, it sweeps Shila and Curtis into its path, and they disappear without even a scream)
Chris: Um...Curtis? In there?....Anywhere?....
Aldonza: C'mon, let's just do another game; Atom Cat's probably testing another one of his devices on them. They'll be back. (takes the balls out of the pockets, and repositions them)
Chris: I don't know. I have a bad feeling about this. If they're not back soon, I'm going back home.
(Switch across the time zones to the small, yet cozy house of Curtis's human clone [Yep, yours truly ^_^]. Due to the time difference [the house is in Michigan], it is the middle of the night. Everyone is asleep---except for a female spaniel, a rather overweight male black longhair cat, a female white-orange longhair cat, and a tiny, female calico cat, who are all gathered in the living room)
Black longhair: >Alright. This meeting of the household pets is now called to order.< (turns his head to the spaniel) >Sophie, anything special to report?<
Sophie: >You mean the unusual disappearance of Sabrina's food? I don't know anything about it.<
Calico: (hisses) >Sure, you don't. And what were you doing standing in front of it right before Curtis went to bed? Admiring the texture?<
Black longhair: >Oh, calm down, Sabrina. If Sophie's been eating our food, we're just going to have to get a message across to our owners to take more drastic measures.<
Sabrina: (worried) >But, Ezekial----<
Ezekial: (swipes at the air, cutting her off) >No buts. We'll set to work first thing in the morning.< (turns to the white-orange longhair) >Drew, have you been watching Curtis recently?<
Drew: >Yes. He has been spending an increasing amount of time on this thing he calls a "computer", playing games that make a lot of loud noises. He's been ignoring us more and more. The only time he stops to pet us is if he's wandering around the house for no reason, like he usually does late in the afternoon, or right after he gets home from.....school, I think it's called.<
Ezekial: (thoughtful) >Hmmm....thanks for the information, everyone. Now, everyone get some sleep. We want to be ready and active when our owners wake up.<
(The four pets scatter throughout the house. Down in the basement, Drew catches up with Sabrina)
Drew: >Sabrina, could you do me a favor and get off the computer chair? That's where I usually sleep.<
Sabrina: (hisses) >Go sleep on the couch. This chair is mine tonight.<
Drew: (walks away) >Sabrina, I think your 9 lives could use a little attitude adjustment.<
Sabrina: (growls) >Oh, shut up.<
(Directly in front of the computer, another mysterious, yellow vortex appears, swallowing up Sabrina and disappearing as suddenly as it came)
Drew: (looking a bit startled) >Was that my eighth life?< (calms down, and starts to doze off) >Nah, I think I'll just say it was my fifth.
(Scene switches back to the outskirts of Little Tokyo. Thunderball is standing near the transformed Time Master)
Thunderball: (slowly smiles) Maybe now I can finally get some peace. (looks around) If I stick around in the general area, they're bound to wonder why I'm here, so......
(Thunderball, the "missing" notice in his paw, walks away from the city at a moderate pace, heading in a northwest direction. He quickly increases his speed until he breaches the light barrier, and disappears. In the meantime, the Time Master robot disappears, as well)
Chris, Aldonza, Drew, don't dismiss this so casually. Your friends----and in the case of Drew, your enemy----are in more trouble than you think they are.
Keep in mind, this is just the preview. Provided I get the time to work on it (I have 2 other projects besides this one going), I'll get the first in the series of crossovers up as soon as I can.
Closing statements: Does Thunderball have more in mind for our fuzzbrains than just his own personal silence? Guess you'll just have to wait and see.
Signed, Curtis Wildcat
Thanks to R.C. for letting me use that spiffy background.