The Great Golden Cluck
Operation:
The Great Golden Cluck
Robot of
the Day: Giant octopus
Destroyed
by: Speedy Cerviche ---- Ginzu Sword
It's a
busy day in Little Tokyo, and Speedy's delivering a dangerous cargo: your
standard pizza. However, he never gets the chance to deliver that
pizza: out of nowhere, a giant apparition appears over the
populace.....SLOWLY. Is it invisible? Nope, I guess
not....it's a giant fire-breathing demon! Wrong again....it's just a
giant golden chicken. Or, as Speedy said, "Tweety Bird on hormones."
When it stops, a disguised Bad Bird appears, claiming that this
machine can see the future, read fortunes, and grant any wish whatsoever.
If that were true, I would wish that some of the dubbed plots
weren't so ridiculous.
Anyway,
Bad Bird urges everyone to buy a ticket in order to have the Cluck do what
the townsfolk are hoping for. Speedy believes at the outset that
it's a scam, but then notices that an elderly couple have decided to take
the bait. The wife of the couple pays every cent she has, hoping to
cure her husband's back problem. Once the ticket is inserted inside
the phone booth, a number begins dwindling down towards 0. It halts
abruptly at 5; and suddenly, the old man's back is straightened out, and
he begins dancing again. (Anyone recognize the background music at
this point?) And just like that, EVERYONE decides to go after a
ticket, Speedy included (although he has to push himself off the ground
first). The pizza he was supposed to deliver has been flattened by
the crowd, and he rushes off in despair. Ol' Cerviche moves so
quickly that he doesn't even hear the snickering couple from earlier,
getting paid by a Ninja Crow for their actions.
Back at
the pizza parlor, Polly is less than pleased with Speedy's failure and
proceeds to chew him out, with Guido offering snide remarks every now and
then. First, Speedy's lie with the wrong script; then Polly's
screech, with orders to clean up the washrooms and make them look
spic-'n'-span (probably WITH Spic-n-Span, no doubt). Guido nails
Speedy with this remark: "I always knew your career would end up in the
tiolet." As he straightens up the washroom, Speedy begins
daydreaming about Lucille. Just as the daydream proceeds to the
point where he's about to kiss her, he snaps back to reality and realizes
that he's had a facefirst encounter with the mop.
Even as a janitor, Speedy is all washed
up.
Meanwhile,
the Cluck is the talk of the town. People are a little too eager to
spend their hard-earned money on a giant chicken that's not named Chicken
Boo. One of the citizens demands that the "Big Bird" go back to
public television. Boats arrive from around the planet (or maybe
just the immediate vicinity) in order to seek out the G.G.C. so that the
sailors can find out what they're going to be. And guess where all
their money goes.....yup, two points for guessing "The Big Cheese" and
"Jerry Atrick". After remarking on the success of this scheme, Jerry
suggests that Seymour take swimming lessons. Seymour states in
response that he's going to be the richest character in cartoons.
No, not as rich as Bugs Bunny after inheriting "A million
box".
Speedy
approaches, wanting to buy a ticket. Right when the person in front
of him leaves, he gets dejected----the robot and crew are taking a lunch
break. The cat spies a ticket on the ground and goes for, but Bad
Bird reels it in, stating that it's not right that Cerviche would try to
steal that. After Speedy has brief intellectual conversation with
him, Guido leaps in, nails Speedy, and tries to pay for the ticket
himself. Speedy recovers and tackles him, instigating a fight.
Bad Bird departs the scene with the PCs' money in
tow.
(commercial break)
Francine
wants to have Guido deliver a pizza, but finds out that he's a little tied
up at the moment. Back at the Cluck, the victorious Speedy tries
again, wishing that he and Lucille were together. But guess what
happens? The same thing that happens to people all over the country
in shopping malls....NOT ENOUGH CREDIT!!! At the Cheese's hideout,
the greedy Seymour decides he's not happy with his current allotment.
Jerry informs him that the Cluck's been invited to the home of a
rich guy (Old Man Monkey Bags) with a fancy security system.
Apparently, the chimp's paranoid about his money, and he wants the
Cluck's advice.
Speedy
tries again to meet up with Lucille wanting to see if his wish came true
or not (though with the insufficient credit, one can never be too sure
^_^). He's cut off at the pass by a deer who walks off with the
goat. Meanwhile, the people aren't too pleased about the Cluck
leaving, but as we find out, it has decided to relocate to the home of the
rich chimpanzee. Bad Bird claims that Monkey Bags will no longer
have to worry about his financial investments (once they're stolen,
anyway). As Cerviche bemoans his lack of success, he spies the Cluck
and demands a refund---but is forced to hide behind a barrel once a Ninja
Crow comes barreling out off the rich man's property. Speedy
snatches the crow and forces him to start talking, eventually succeeding
in landing a call to Big Al Dente. The big dog passes on the
information to Francine and the others, and Speedy arrives back at the
pizza parlor. TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE!
(commercial break)
Francine
launches the Cats while dishing out another line in her witty repertoire
of launch remarks. Once Monkey Bags is asleep, Bad Bird decides to
rob the chimp blind (and in the original KNT episode, they actually do
just that). The SPC arrive, however, and make their entrance while
insulting BB's breath at the same time. However, he refuses to pay
for a pizza he didn't even order and launches an attack on the Cats.
Bad move, bird brain----with a one and a two and a three, the Ninja
Crows are history. The golden chicken splits right down the middle;
and with a cascade of golden armor, the robot's true identity is revealed:
a giant white, brown, and red octopus with a beak. Whether Bad
Bird's remark about having the neatest monsters is true or not, I have to
say one thing: it certainly does look....strange.
The 3 Cats
are immediately on the defensive, trying to dodge each of the robot's
tentacles. Eventually, one of them snags Polly (Bad Bird: "Polly
want a cracker?"), then does likewise with Guido. Angered, Speedy
attempts to take the fight to the robot, but gets snagged before he
reaches it. Not having any other choice, he uses his cat bell to
ring up Francine back at the parlor. Acting immediately, she dials
the fearsome leader of the Rescue Team, General Catton, and sends him off
towards the octopus.
Sheesh...this guy's bigger than Wildcat,
and
that's saying quite a bit.
Back at
the fight, things aren't faring so well. Guido and Polly's heads are
getting bashed together, and Speedy is living up to a cat's natural
dislike of water. Catton abruptly arrives, blasting the robot's
tentacles with his dual cannon set and freeing the main SPC. After
an ultimatum, he fires again and tears open the robot from the inside-out.
Bad Bird abruptly decides to call a retreat. He doesn't get
far, however, when a ticked-off Speedy lays waste to the robot with his
Cat's Eye Slash.
Seymour
decides to see who can get the angriest and self-destructs again, but
according to him, it's not as powerful as usual. The Narrator
concludes the episode by stating that the SPC will always be there to stop
evil in its tracks----just as the roof that Speedy is standing on breaks,
causing him to plummet once again.
